The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted porn by the memory of a stay in bokep Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokeh caterwauling) to the porn receptionist the next morning, memek she rolled her eyes and porn declared the woman an ‘actrice’, porn or bokep sex worker.

Now, crot according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, crot it bokep all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and crot all crot men dread – the louder the crot cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In bokeh other words, bokeh you can’t measure bokep passion in terms of decibels: crot there’s sex as performance art, bokeh and porn sex as genuine intimacy. And bokeh when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and bokep memek is not fearing bokeh for memek a fragile male ego, porn crot she’s far more likely to gently sigh and memek moan crot than shriek like the porn rabid super-vixen in porn my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, crot memek female crot contributors regularly confessed to bokeh faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokeh they’d crot explain, bokep so they could bokeh make their crot partner feel happy, porn while conserving porn their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central crot Lancashire. They declared that erotic bokeh decibels porn were all about manners and bokeh ‘manipulation’, crot and porn that women were prone to bokeh what they described crot as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, porn so to speak.

A new porn study confirms the louder the cry of porn ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, bokep but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokeh ladies?

The only porn other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep where loud always bokeh equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual bokeh yowling drowned out their crot TVs: bokeh ‘As far as I’m concerned, memek that’s what porn you should be doing.’

Well, memek only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their porn book, porn Sex At Dawn, memek Christopher Ryan and bokeh Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that porn they were fertile and bokeh keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, porn I can understand bokeh the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokeh then men should take heed: bokeh the memek best sex porn may just be the quietest.

Paris