The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly crot that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for crot porn caterwauling) to the receptionist bokep the next morning, memek she rolled her eyes and crot declared the woman an ‘actrice’, memek or porn sex worker.

Now, memek according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and memek all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, porn you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokeh there’s sex as performance art, bokep and bokeh sex as genuine intimacy. And crot when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for bokeh a fragile male ego, bokep she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokeh moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokep female contributors regularly confessed bokeh to faking orgasms. It was generally on bokep an occasional basis, bokeh they’d explain, crot so they could make their partner feel happy, crot while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that memek erotic decibels were all about manners bokep and crot ‘manipulation’, bokep and bokeh that women were prone to what they porn described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, crot so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: crot ‘I’m enjoying this, bokeh but can you get crot porn a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokeh ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, porn where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland memek said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: crot ‘As far as I’m concerned, porn that’s what memek you should be doing.’

Well, memek only if you want to bokeh attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, bokeh Christopher Ryan and bokeh Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was memek to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokep keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, porn I can understand bokep the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokep then men should take heed: bokep the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris