The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay bokeh in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman memek in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an crot exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the porn delectable French word memek for memek caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, crot she bokeh rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, porn porn or porn sex worker.

Now, bokeh according to this new study from the bokep ever-liberal Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what crot most women know memek and porn all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other porn words, crot you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokep there’s sex as performance art, crot and porn bokep sex as genuine intimacy. And crot when a crot woman is genuinely memek aroused, crot trusts her memek partner and memek is not fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, crot she’s far more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek bokep like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review bokeh magazine, crot female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, porn they’d explain, bokeh so they could make their bokep partner feel happy, bokeh while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was crot the conclusion of another study by two researchers from bokeh the memek University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and memek ‘manipulation’, bokep and bokeh that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, memek so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokep ‘I’m enjoying this, bokep but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokeh ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: porn ‘As far as I’m concerned, bokep that’s bokep what you should memek be doing.’

Well, crot only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokep Sex At Dawn, bokeh Christopher Ryan and memek Cacilda Jetha concluded the most bokep likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males memek that they were fertile and memek keen to copulate.

If you’re memek a sex worker, memek I can understand bokeh porn the need to advertise. But if you’re not, crot then men should take heed: crot the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris