The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokeh caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, porn she rolled her eyes and bokep declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokep or crot sex worker.

Now, memek according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and memek all men bokep bokep dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, memek you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance art, memek and memek sex as genuine intimacy. And porn when a woman is genuinely memek aroused, memek trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for bokeh a fragile male ego, bokep she’s far more likely to crot gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In bokeh my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, crot female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on porn an occasional basis, crot memek they’d explain, crot so they could make their partner feel happy, memek while conserving their energy for porn other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from porn the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and crot ‘manipulation’, bokep and memek that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in bokep order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, memek so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, memek but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokeh ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep porn where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained porn that her sexual yowling drowned out bokep their TVs: memek ‘As far as I’m concerned, bokep that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, bokeh only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, memek Sex At Dawn, memek Christopher Ryan and porn Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and crot keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokep I can understand crot the need to advertise. But if you’re not, crot then men should take heed: bokeh the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris