The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokeh caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, porn she rolled her eyes and crot declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokeh or bokeh sex worker.

Now, bokeh according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, porn it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and crot all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. crot In other words, memek you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokep there’s sex as performance art, bokeh and memek sex as genuine intimacy. And memek when a woman is genuinely bokeh aroused, crot trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, bokep she’s far more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in crot my Parisian hotel.

In my crot days editing The Erotic Review magazine, crot female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, crot they’d explain, bokep so they could make their partner feel happy, porn while conserving their energy for bokeh other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. porn They declared that crot erotic decibels were all about manners and porn ‘manipulation’, bokeh and crot that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, porn so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokep ‘I’m enjoying this, crot but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, porn ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokeh where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokep said in 2014 after neighbours bokeh complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokeh ‘As far as I’m bokep concerned, memek that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, crot only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, memek Sex At Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and bokeh Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokep keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, porn I can understand bokep the need to advertise. But if you’re not, crot then men should take heed: memek the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris